I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
