did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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