Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
