dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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