i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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