hell yes lets make some ravioli
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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