I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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