My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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