i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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