did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
