i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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