From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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