can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
