Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
