Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
