That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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