Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
