I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
