So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
