Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
