the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
