I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
