just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
