Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
