Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
