god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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