Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
