so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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