the new term for farting is butt boxing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
