I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
