i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The feeling are messing with the penis
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
