sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
