Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
