I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
