Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
