I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
