and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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