There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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