His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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