North Korea, Best Korea!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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