The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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