Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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