In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I love having hate sex.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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