he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
