You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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