I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
