saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
