i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
