And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
