we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
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